


but all fires do burn out in the end

by promptdreamer



Series: The Ainar Chronicles [1]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Charn, Court Politics, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Marriage of Convenience, One Shot, Politics, Prequel, betrothal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promptdreamer/pseuds/promptdreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nonius Balyn, Lord of Ravenseye, confronts his younger brother when he hears a most surprising piece of news concerning Sextus. One-shot.</p><p>[Note: This takes place in the time thousands of years before the creation of the world of Narnia, and specifically in the world of Jadis the White Witch (but before her own time too).]</p>
            </blockquote>





	but all fires do burn out in the end

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, this was supposed to be just one of many one-shots, short stories, spin-offs, and companion pieces I had in mind for the series "The Ainar Chronicles", which was also meant to be a prequel mini-series that was part of an even vaster fanfiction series for "The Chronicles of Narnia", tentatively entitled "The Guardians of Narnia". But though I already have so many stories and plotlines as ideas and concepts for my series, I can be a very lazy procrastinator and as such, I haven't finished writing either the main novel in "The Ainar Chronicles" or the first story in "The Guardians of Narnia". I've so far only succeeded in writing drabbles and one-shots, and this story you are about to read is one of those completed versions. I don't think it's too spoiler-y and anyway, it won't impact the later major storylines because this is supposed to be one of many events which already happened in Charn's history long, long ago (around eight hundred years before Jadis's time, I think), so it's safe to read this, more or less.
> 
> If you have any questions after reading this, don't hesitate to ask me either by PM-ing me or commenting on this work, and I shall try to answer as best as I can without hopefully giving away too much. So now read on, and hope you enjoy it! :)

**PROMPT:**   
Kindle

 

 ** _T_** HE news came to him like an earthquake that would suddenly shake the land to its very foundations, with no prior warnings whatsoever. It was certainly lucky that his wife had attended that gathering in Rothailon hosted by the notorious chinwag Lord Tassivar, who had never seemed to have learned in all the two hundred years of his existence when it was best to shut his mouth, and Lyselle had reported it back to him almost immediately upon returning home.

It was definitely most shocking. How could he not have seen this coming? He knew that his younger brother had been more often at the royal court in Charn of late, but he never had such sense of rumors, no hearing of hurried whispers and snatches of murmurs that there was a single serious thought entertaining the idea. Admittedly, the idea was actually perfectly sensible and far from absurd and yet…why had he never suspected? Had the royals and their advisers actually become that skillful at keeping secrets in this realm of spies and traitors and rumors that even such esteemed and powerful figures like him, as a relative of the Balyn royals, could now be utterly taken by surprise by such news and reports?

Shortly after learning of the engagement, he had quickly inked a letter to Sextus, who was by this time lodged in Olanif Castle, a previously unused royal residence in Nonazel that the Queen had generously lent to him where he would wait out the passage of winter for the rest of the season, informing Sextus that he would be coming soon to meet him at his current home and then gave it to one of his most trusted servants. Despite Lyselle’s unceasing protests and arguments that it was risky and not necessary at this time to be riding out so in the open with little protection, Nonius was determined to hear out his little brother, whose shy and introverted nature had perhaps beguiled him into agreeing, and finally comprehend what on Iralem was going on in this situation. So the following day, he left behind an uncertain Lyselle, who was staying behind to watch over her ailing younger sister who had been living with them for the past few months as she hunted for a fellow aristocratic husband before falling ill, and set out northeast with a small party.

Finally, two weeks later, Nonius and his companions arrived, cold and tired, at the castle, where they were admitted by Sextus’s prepared servants. When, at last, he was brought to Sextus in one of the waiting rooms, he blurted out immediately, “Brother! Have you gone mad? Are you out of your mind? What has happened here?!”

Sextus, who had been seated on one of the luxurious chairs and staring down at the cup of wine in his hands, looked up and scowled. Next to him, a petite woman in a servant’s drab attire stood quietly without moving an inch, like an obedient and well-trained hound-puppy. “Good evening to you too, dearest brother. Is this how you normally greet your hosts now? Now, if it would please you, take a seat.” He indicated the number of chairs scattered around the chamber.

Nonius sighed and sat back on one of the chairs in front of Sextus. He was not particularly in the mood for pleasurable comforts, but if it would make his brother more receptive, then he would do it.

“Would you like some wine?” Sextus asked, keeping his tone pleasant and polite. Nonius wanted to respond, “Yes,” but he suddenly felt all the weariness and cold from his long journey – on horseback, even! – settle into his Jinn bones and soul, so he merely nodded to indicate his affirmation. Sextus nodded back but still avoided eye contact with Nonius and instead, he concentrated on one of the other chairs before him and touching it, he murmured an incantation and the chair slowly shimmered into the solid form of an unadorned wooden table as stark-black as ebony. Sextus then swiveled his head and nodded with indication at the servant, who bowed her head before turning around and walking to the door with no hesitation at all. Knocking twice on it, the door creaked open for her as the guards outside opened it to allow her outside and she walked out. About five minutes later, she came back with a full jug of wine and five flagons on a polished silver plate, which she carefully set down on the table.

“Thank you,” Sextus said curtly to her. “Now, may you leave us alone here?” It was phrased like a courteous request, but the order was clear in his tone of voice. The woman nodded and curtsied deeply before finally leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Sextus briefly glanced at the door for a few seconds before it locked by itself, and then at last, he focused his attention on Nonius.

Gesturing at the jug and goblets, Sextus said monotonously, “Drink up.” Nonius murmured his thanks before picking up one of the cups and filled it with what appeared to be red Maozi wine from the jug. He had never liked the sour-sweet taste of wine, but as an act of common courtesy, he took a sip from it. He almost spat it out when he tasted how strong it was, but he nonetheless forced himself to swallow it, even though he knew Sextus was hardly watching but was equally aware that he would still take offense at such rude behavior in his presence. Instead, Nonius tried to concentrate on the thick gray drachonskin rug beneath his exhausted feet, fascinated by its ever-shifting intricate patterns, pictures, and whorls painted in soft yellow and blue that seemed to tell the story of the ancient religious epic _The Lay of the Creation_.

 When he had finally banished the taste of the immensely strong drink in his mouth, Nonius tore his gaze from the rug and ventured to say, his manner brusque and prompt, “Good evening, Sextus. Thank you for your warm welcome and I appreciate your accommodation of us, which is most desired. Now, can we move past tedious niceties and empty courtesies so you can at last explain to me this baffling arrangement that you have?”

Sextus closed his gray eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again and answering in his low, controlled voice, “Why? What shall you do about it, Nonius? You cannot stop me from pushing through with any choice I make now, not like you always tried to interfere when we were younger and played at games.”

Nonius pursed his lips from across the younger man. “You know I never did any of those things out of malice, Sextus,” he said in a voice trying hard to be gentle and reasonable. “I simply wanted the best for you, because I love you and wanted to protect you.”

Sextus looked away from his brother to the small hearth in the room, its fire crackling with life, then drank for a while from his cup, never breaking the silence that stood between him and his older brother, until he had emptied it and set it down on the table.

Nonius frowned at the plain silver flagon, standing out from the other gilded bronze cups. “Are you not going to refill it or send for a servant to take it away, Sextus?

“Take what away?” said Sextus, in an obviously distracted voice.

Nonius opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, unsure of what to reply. When he said nothing more, Sextus spoke in a quiet voice, “I have never for a moment thought your intentions or your affections for me insincere, and I cannot express my gratitude enough for the fact that you thought to look out for me at a point in our lives when few others did, in the midst of our parents’ constant quarrels and eventual divorce.” He closed his eyes again then continued, his voice now tinged with bitterness and perhaps just a hint of sadness, “But that has not prevented me from concluding that you have been too protective all this time, brother, and that maybe now, you can learn to let go.”

Nonius’s eyes widened and, without thinking, he leaned forward on impulse, all traces of weariness suddenly vanishing from his body, and pounded the table with his fist. “‘Learn to let go’?” he repeated, feeling dumbfounded. “What do you mean, ‘let go’? I can’t simply let go of you! You’re my little brother! It’s always been my responsibility to take care of you and I’ll be damned by the Ancient Ones and the Powers before I let myself forget it!”

He took a deep breath to regain his shaken composure, pausing from his astonished outburst, before remembering what else he’d forgotten and ranting on, “And you still haven’t explained what’s gotten into your mind to even consider marrying the Queen of the Three Kingdoms herself!”

Now Sextus raised his chin in defiance and his voice rose too, clearly becoming more irritated by his brother’s hardheadedness by the minute, “I did not merely consider it; Nerida actually _proposed_ to me three weeks ago, and I accepted it. There is a difference between the former and latter, Nonius, and I would beg you to learn it lest you mistake one for the other. You must also know that she was not that keen on the match either – you must know why – but the council insisted and politically, it _is_ a prestigious union, uniting two famous lines of the Balyn clan. As for Nerida herself, she is not so bad once you get to know her better. She is a sociable and outgoing woman, energetic and intelligent, and she is known at court for her love of dancing and interest in sculpture. Besides, your only familiarity with her is superficial, based on brief meetings as cousins at festivities few and far in between in years past, before her reign.” The expression on his face had hardened and the look he gave Nonius was cold and unfriendly.

“You don’t trust me, brother, not at all. You did not trust me in the past to be able to take care of myself and make my own decisions, you still do not, and I don’t think you ever will. You have no right either to accuse me in so presumptive a manner, and I will not stand for it.” Sextus then straightened himself and awaited his brother’s reply with such unemotional and stony equanimity.

Nonius merely continued staring at Sextus in amazement, astounded at such icy accusations and utterly silent for an awkward moment or two, before a questioning glare from the latter shook the former from his reverie. For some unfathomable reason, the first thing of which he could think to say, with just the barest hint of scorn, was, “So you’re on first-name terms with Her Majesty now, are you? Where have all your formalities and civility gone?”

Sextus shrugged his shoulders. To others, it might superficially seem like flippant casualness, an indication that the man cared little for the topic at hand, but Nonius knew from years of growing up alongside him that it was a mark of his defensiveness, that he did not want people to further broach the subject. “What does it matter to you, brother? There is no real law writ in stone that prohibits people, particularly the favored ones, from calling royalty by their given names. We are soon to be wed, anyway, and it seems only natural that we start calling each other in the manner we desire to be if we are to foster a respectful relationship within the bounds of marriage.”

Nonius looked down at his cup, and suddenly all he wanted to do was to open one of the locked stained-glass windows in the room and fling the goblet, wine and all, out into the cold night and wait to hear if it shattered loudly into pieces. But he kept his temper in check and returned his gaze to his brother, trying to appear detached and composed but betraying his real feelings as he anxiously stole glances at Nonius every once in a while to see his reaction.

Nonius took a good long stare at Sextus, trying to collect his disorganized thoughts before his formulating a reply, and suddenly noticed a great number of details in him that he’d either been too busy to observe or perhaps had tried hard to ignore before but it was inevitable now. He saw the wrinkles that were beginning to form on Sextus’s pale long face and his darkened hands. He saw the unconscious slumping that his shoulders had a tendency towards and the few gray strands that were starting to show in his mass of dark hair – and for some reason, it made him slightly angrier, but also, somehow, sadder.

His throat tightening, Nonius finally opened his mouth to answer, his tone now somber and serious, “Have you forgotten our family’s ideals all so suddenly, little brother? Do you not remember that it was our royal relatives’ intrigues which helped to tear our family apart? Do you not remember the oath we swore after our parents separated when I was nineteen and you twelve, to have as little to do as possible with them so as not to get dragged into the messes they made themselves? Do you not remember how you yourself took our oath to heart, even staying away from court for nearly twenty years? What happened, Sextus – what changed? Have they been nothing but wind and words to you? Are you as faithless as those meddling courtiers now?”

Sextus swallowed hard. “But you too forget that I supported Nerida during her rebellion, I mean war, on our great-uncle the deceased Emperor Helmer. I may have joined her side quite late, yes, but I nevertheless pledged my loyalty to her, that I swore to recognize no other monarch but her and to serve her and her dynasty until my last breath. Remember that as well, that I cannot fulfill both oaths at the same time, and do not judge me so harshly.”

“But _why_?” Nonius asked, his voice almost pleading. “Why did you not keep your oath the first time around? You perfectly know that I remained neutral in that war, offering help neither to our cousin nor to our great-uncle in their vicious battle, for in the end, what use is our involvement in these squabbles which should be theirs and theirs alone? So long as we can seek our fulfillment without their constant interference, I can live in peace, wealthy and content, without feeling the intense need to curry their favor. You know how furious I was when I discovered your involvement and that you had picked Nerida’s side, but I tolerated it for your sake when Nerida won and heaped on you various new honors and increased wealth. You know that we were estranged for almost two years because of it before we reconciled, deciding that our bond was greater than any harm we could ever do each other. I tolerated it all for you, even as stories emerged of Nerida’s unpredictable caprice and wrath and indulgences in the past eight years of her reign. Then seven years later, I am greeted by this – this _outrageous_ news! Was our brotherhood not enough for you? Is this how you treat bonds forged through hell and back, with ingratitude and dishonor?

“Then you, of all people, should know that she will never love you. Not because she is a creature incapable of love, but because they all say that that love went to her husband, the one she has been mourning now for nigh on fifty years, that Lord Damithion was the companion she thought she would have for the rest of her life, but the Seven Ancient Ones dictated it was not meant to be. It will be a game lost before it even began, and I only want to spare you from any unnecessary pain and hurt you might suffer in the process.

“We are but pawns in their _tysaxone_ of life, Sextus, their game of thrones. Remember that above all, and reflect back to this moment when, at the end of it, when you find yourself in too deep the evils of the royal world, drowning in regrets and grief, and your despair leads you to wonder what went wrong so badly, you may realize then that, all this time, you were wrong about this.”

Sextus shook his head slowly. “I’m not a child anymore, Nonius. I’m no longer the callow little boy who cried when he got hurt while playing rough games and watched his older brother fix his damaged toys with magic in childish awe. I’m not the unsure young man, so bewildered by the complexities of life’s labyrinth, who tried so hard to find his path in this mortal world, to be as good and loyal and brave as a person could be. I’ve seen a hundred and six winters in my life now, and I’ve learned so much more already than my naïve younger self could ever hope for.

“They are parts of who I am, yes, but they’re not who I am now. You’re wrong. You think you understand, but you don’t – you just want to. Life is unfair, and you don’t always get a say in what you do; these are words one must never forget until their dying day. You should be acquainted with that even better than I am, because I know how much more pain and suffering you have endured in your years. But you don’t, not really – because you keep trying to flee from the truth. You always deny it, thinking it will eventually all go away if you never stop to dwell on it, just maybe, because a sweet lie is always easier to bear than a painful truth, and you think you’ll never have the strength to face it."

Sextus looked away from his brother towards the hearth, now appearing dim and weak in the current atmosphere. He murmured, “I know, Nonius. That is too true. Thesius Damithion was the love of her life, and it is never clearer to me than in her most vulnerable moments while I am in her company. I can never replace him, whether or not I want to, which is why I will not waste trying in the first place, because it will do no good for either of us and will not be worth my time and effort in the end. The best we can hope for is a politically successful marriage which can produce children and maintain the peace and prosperity in our lands while furthering the monarchy’s prestige, for it is first and foremost a union founded on politics and convenience, and love need not be involved in it. I will go no further than that, and I shall respect her wishes in that aspect, as her consort.” Here, Sextus looked back at Nonius, and all the unspoken emotion in his eyes seemed like a hollow punch to Nonius's gut, jolting a part of his soul somewhere deep inside him.

“For your sake, and because you are still my highly respected and beloved brother, I warn you: your stubbornness will be your undoing. I have not plunged myself right into the heart of the royal court not to know the simple fact of this, and those years at court have taught me much. You can cling to these rebellious and outdated thoughts as much as you want, until it is too late and you find yourself falling, then crashing so hard. It will be your downfall, and know that for as long as you treasure these dangerous ideals of yours, you will never rise so far in your life nor be able to maintain your current position for so long, and I am not so cruel as to wish this bleak future on you. This is why I am trying to explain to you as much as I can allow myself to and as far as you will be able to, hopefully, accept. But you are making this task, well, more difficult, with your obstinacy and the fact that you cannot come to terms with my own choices as an adult man, rather than as forever your helpless younger brother.”

Sextus closed his eyes. “I am sorry, but—but you don’t know me at all, _varonorus_ *****.”

He opened his pale eyes and sighed, and it seemed that there was a slight breeze in the chamber that sighed along with him, making Nonius shiver in spite of the fire in the hearth. “I know you love me and I don’t doubt it – I never have and I never will. But sometimes love…” Here Nonius could finally see his brother’s calm façade crumble as he saw, to his growing guilt and gnawing shame, that Sextus was rapidly blinking back tears. He finished, his voice so soft now it was almost a whisper and Nonius had to strain his ears to hear, “…sometimes love isn’t enough."

For a moment, the room was still and quiet. Then Sextus arose from his seat, pushing back the table that separated them from one another, and walked towards the door, which easily opened to lead him out. But before he stepped out, he turned back to Nonius, and the latter could see the sad smile on his face – a smile which stung Nonius harder than he would have thought in his heart, leaving him the sinking feeling of numbness within. “I must go, _varonorus_ ,” he murmured at last, then turned around and exited, leaving his brother alone and subdued in the chamber.

After a deafening silence for what felt like an hour, Nonius stood up and crossed over to the hearth, settling into one of the chairs nearest it. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a glint of silver, and he turned to see the source of the glimmer be the empty goblet from which Sextus had drank and had left behind on the table. Hesitantly, he reached to pick it up, and then saw that the empty goblet was not so empty after all. It was half-full, but the red wine was no longer bubbling and warm like before.

Nonius could suddenly taste a bitter tang in his mouth again, and he poured the wine from Sextus’s cup into the fire. He watched the flames change color and burn brighter and hotter than ever, and he closed his eyes, waiting for a rush of warmth that never came.

**Author's Note:**

> Translation: _varonorus_ (brother by blood/birth, particularly one who is older)
> 
> So how was it? I hope you liked it, but whether or not you did, I also hope you leave reviews for it! Reviews are, as always, very much appreciated, particularly constructive criticism because I am far from being a trained or professional writer as of now (I'm still in high school) and I do wish to improve my writing skills. Thank you for reading and once again, I hope you will review! :)


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